Two years

Today marks the two year

anniversary of John going home

to be with the Lord.  For some 

reason I've been having a much

harder time this year.  I've been

crying a lot.  I miss him so

much.  But it's comforting to know

where he is and that I will see him again.

Not that that makes it any easier.

Two years ago, My sister, Robin,

son, Cody, Daughter in law, Pam,

and I sat around John's bed.  I whispered

all the wonderful times we had together.

Aquariums we visited, zoos that we

enjoyed so much.  I told him it

was OK to go, that I would be

OK.  That was a hard one.

 I had heard that sometimes loved

ones were reluctant to leave because

they worried about the ones they left

behind.  I didn't want him to be concerned

about that.  Before he died he raised up by

the shoulders and stared straight ahead.

What he was seeing wasn't in this

world, we all knew that.  I saw a

movie by Bruce Marchiano called "The encounter,

Paradise lost" .  As the man was ready to

go with Jesus, he looked back at his

wife and Jesus said to him, "don't worry,

I'll take care of her."  I like to think that

as John stared ahead he saw his Savior

saying, "Don't worry, I'll take care of

her."  Then he laid down and died.

Yes, God has taken care of me this past

two years.  That's not to say it's been

easy because even if you haven't

lost someone you know it's not easy.

But I've been OK.  That day changed

all of us in a way that none of us

can explain but that bonded all four

of us together forever.  You can't experience

something like that and ever be the same.

I'd never seen anyone die before.  I don't

want to ever again.  But His last wish

was to die at home and I was able to

honour that.  I miss him so much.

I hope no one who reads this minds hearing

the story, but I just really needed to put it

in words this morning.

I love black and white together.