I can't believe another year
is almost at a close. They
all tend to blend into one another
now that I'm older and it's not as
exciting to see a new year
come in. But it still remains
mystifying how another year
could be gone so quickly.
God has brought so many
changes to my life this year.
He has given me a new
church. I have new friends.
I have also lost friends this
year. I've become a
great grandmother! Who
would have seen that coming
at the close of 2014. I survived
a whole year during which
John was not a presence in
my life. When 2015 was upon us,
I told the chaplain of the grief
group I was attending that
what bothered me the most
was that I was going to begin
a year where John would never
have been. But I made it.
I'm learning a new language. I
wouldn't have seen that coming
at the close of 2014.
It's been lonely, too. Sometimes
I am able to reach out. But I am
also aware that so many people
suffer in the quietness of
their own souls. I need to
remember that other people
are reaching out, too. That
they are just as lonely as I.
That they need to have someone
see that loneliness and reach
out to them when they are unable
to do so themselves. I ask
God as I go into a new year
to make me aware of people
who are struggling and hear their
silent cries even when no
word is uttered.
I know someone who reads
my blog (and you know who
you are) has already seen
this but I don't have anything else
ready to post!
I have had to make way too mnay
sympathy cards in the last
couple of months. I hope I don't
have to make any more for a while.
Unfortunately, death seems to
recognize no holiday. I always
pray, when I am not sure, that the
person knew God. I am relatively
certain that the people who have
died recently were saved. That's
the only thing that helps (and then
only a little) to know that the person
is with God and we will see them
again. But that doesn't take away
the pain. I am always amazed
that when Lazurus died, Jesus
mourned his death-and He KNEW
he was going to raise Lazurus from the
dead! That's the human experience
that allows Jesus to understand
our pain and anguish. He understands
because he's been through
them. What an amazing God to
be born in human form so that
He could identify with us. It's comforting
to know that Jesus totally understands
what we are feeling. That way if
we simply can't pray for whatever
reason all we have to do is
cry, "Abba Father" and He
hears our heart cry. And
what a blessing to know that
when the words won't come
the Holy Spirit groans for us.
OK, now I am done with
the philosophy, I promise! and
to think I dropped that
class in college! The professor
put me to sleep. True story!