Pretty in pink

I never saw that movie.  I'm not

sure why, I just never had a desire

to, I guess.  And pink is not my

favourite colour, but it's what I

had on hand right at the moment

and I didn't feel like looking

for another colour.

I'm fairly happy with it.  At first I

had the inside just plain white and I knew

something was wrong with that.  It

looked very  unfinished.  So I came up 

with a corner treatment on the right

side.  The card doesn't stay closed

by itself but it will stand up nicely.

 

My dad said my mom seems to be a 

bit happier since she found out Robin

is coming for christmas, except for

the panic of not having the house

"just right".  She has always been

that way, but it's worse because she

can't get around physically like she

used to ever since she had the hip

surgery 5 years ago.  Robin has talked

her into taking her pills.  Whereas my

dad and I fly off the handle easily, Robin

has negotiating skills after being a paralegal

most of her life.  Of course, the doctor's

word doesn't mean a hill of beans to

mom because they don't know what 

they're talking about, don't know her

body, etc,. etc.  It's frustrating on a good

day.  I don't know what is coming.  I

don't know how long this process has

been going on and how long it will last.

I don't know how to act, react, even

pray.  I don't have a clue how or what

to pray.  And as with John, I think I'm 

going through anticipatory grief.  I

have always hoped that some day my

mom and I could find our way to a 

halfway decent relationship. Now I

know for a fact that that will never

happen.  There's no hope where that

is concerned.  It's hard to accept

all the way around.  I guess I just

have to trust that when I fall God

will catch me because I don't

feel very steady on my feet right now.